Dreams and Bonding Patterns
by
Hal and Sidra Stone
Dreams can give an amazingly accurate picture of a current bonding situation.
For example, Linda and her husband, Bob, visit Linda’s grown daughter for a few days. Mother and daughter, delighted to see one another, enter into an intense bonding pattern.
That night, Linda dreams she is gently floating in the ocean, arms wrapped around her daughter. Linda worries about drifting out to sea, but checks the shoreline and sees that they are not adrift. Feeling secure, she falls asleep in the dream, only to wake up, startled, and discover that she had indeed drifted out to sea. Linda panics and swims to shore, grateful to be alive again.
This dream helps Linda to recognize and break the mother / daughter bonding. The dream showed her that the bonding pattern was not a safe one, that she and her daughter were in danger if Linda remained unconscious (asleep) and they drifted off into further unconsciousness.
The Dream Weaver works on a day-to-day basis, providing feedback on our daily activities and giving us the information needed to live our relationships in a more conscious fashion.
It shows us what has been going on underneath when life appears quite ordinary on the surface.
It is often the case that simultaneous dreams will address the same issue for each of us. We personally have frequently found that when we both wake up in the middle of the night for no apparent reason, it is often because the Dream Weaver wants to catch our joint attention. Many times, there has been a set of dreams that, between them, carried a single message for us. We find that this is a particularly constructive and reassuring aspect of the dream process.