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Issue 95 –

Falling In Love: Part 3
The Gift Of Selves

by

Drs Hal & Sidra Stone

What a marvelous gift of selves is brought by the beloved when we fall in love! This gift is brought in two ways. The first, as we have already seen, is the natural release of a number of disowned selves when the status quo is disrupted and our primary group of selves is relieved of some of its power. As the primary self loses power, the complementary disowned self usually emerges.

 

The second way in which we gain access to new selves begins with the psychological mechanism of projection. We literally project upon the other person qualities that may or may not be his/hers. When we first fall in love, these projections are all positive. The beloved represents much that we want to be. As we see these attributes in the other person, the selves within us that would match these attributes become activated. It is as though an energetic resonance is set up and the two energies become synchronized.

 

At first , we are not aware that we have the matching self within us. We may feel simple and see our beloved as wise; we may be fearful and see the other as brave; we may feel mundane and see the other as romantic and creative.

 

The beloved can be anyone, not just a lover. When this process of projection occurs in a patient-therapist relationship, it is called transference. The therapist or teacher is seen as having a wide variety of attributes that mirror the selves that are not accessible to us because they are either unconscious or disowned.

 

An unconscious self is just that-a self that has not been made conscious-while a disowned self is one that has been actively pushed out by an opposing primary self. The disowned selves that are projected upon the beloved are often emotionally charged. There is a reason that these selves have been disowned and the primary selves have had an interest in keeping them disowned. We want to be safe in life, and these are the selves that might be unsafe. That is why it takes a powerful experience like falling in love to upset the orderly progression of our lives. Let us see how this process works.

 

Eleanor had been raised by very rational parents who were not affectionate. She often felt rejected and learned at an early age that if she cared too much, she was likely to get hurt. Eleanor learned to bury her natural exuberance and eventually became an extremely successful businesswoman. She was proud of her level-headed, sophisticated, and rational approach to life. She never took emotional chances ; in fact, she disowned her emotionality completely. She hid her vulnerability and lived a life that was self-sufficient, taking very good care of herself in every area of life. She was even sure to have many boyfriends, so that she did not get too involved with any one of them.

 

When Eleanor fell in love with Steve, everything changed. Steve was an unabashed romanticist who worshipped intense feelings. She found this aspect of him absolutely charming; in fact, it was the quality in him that most attracted her.

 

In order to build a bridge to him and to give him the depth of emotional contact that he required, she needed to gain access to her own buried emotions. She found that she had within her an emotional teenager, a part that had never been allowed in her life before. She discovered that she was surprisingly reactive to Steve, happy when he called, miserable when he did not. She knew what her feelings were and she loved to talk about them. She loved being in love. This previously disowned teenager brought with her a new aliveness that had never before been a part of Eleanor’s experience of life. She was not always happy, but her life was truly exciting and intense. It was the kind of life that she had so often envied in others.

 

When John was a child, he played make-believe games and wrote short stories. He was a dreamer, and he loved to create for the sake of creativity. His parents were hard working people who saw no use in his daydreaming. They would chastise him for being foolish and wasting time . He was told that he was to be productive at all times. He was teased and embarrassed whenever he spent time daydreaming and, fairly soon, his creative self was disowned. John learned to work hard; he got the recognition that he wanted from his parents, and he soon forgot all about his childhood enjoyment and the many happy hours he had spent playing pretend.

 

When he fell in love, John chose a writer who specialized in fiction. He had no thought that he could write, too. Instead, he idolized her and her ability to use words and to create. As she wrote poetry to him, he longed to speak to her in her own language, to connect in a deeper way. He wanted this so badly that he no longer felt the embarrassment about his creativity that he had learned in his family home. His own creative self re-emerged and he began to write poetry and short stories. He then remembered the happiness he had felt as a child, and he was able to regain access not only to this happiness but also to the poet’s view oflife that was naturally his.

 

A woman of the 1950s, Barbara learned that in order to be taken care of, she had to disown her own strength and her natural abilities in the business world. She did this so well that she identified fully with her helpless child and married a strong; very domineering man who demanded complete control of her life. After they were divorced, she fell in love with Andy, a sensitive man who greatly admired her sophistication and power. In response to his encouragement, she was free to become as powerful as she wished, and she developed a most impressive businesswoman self that brought with it many rewards.

 

Thus far, the selves we have examined have been disowned selves. Another way in which we encounter new selves during the process of falling in love is when we bring forth a previously unconscious self. We do this when we develop a completely new self through the contact with the beloved. Because we love and admire the other, we are willing to learn something new or to try out a different way of being in the world. We may eat sushi for the first time. We may have been brought up in a completely disorganized family, and when we fall in love, we might well choose someone who knows how to organize life. We learn the necessary skills from the beloved and add them to our own repertoire. It is not that we disowned sushi, we just hadn’t tried it; it is not that we disowned organization, we just did not know how to organize.

 

As an academician, Georgia did not have much time for physical activity in her life. She met Brad, who was an avid scuba diver, and he encouraged her to learn to dive. She earned her certification with her usual thoroughness and was extremely happy with her new skills.

 

Ernie had been raised in a working class home and had not been exposed to the cultural activities available in his city. He entered therapy with a female therapist who at some point mentioned that she had gone to a symphony concert. Although he had never done so before, Ernie decided to attend a concert, too, in order to see what it would be like. He enjoyed himself thoroughly and discovered a love of classical music that remained long after the therapy ended.

 

 Keeping the Gift

 

These gifts are priceless. Each new self adds immeasurably to our enjoyment of life and to the intensity with which we live. Of greatest importance, each new self enhances our consciousness and represents a step forward in our personal evolutionary process.

 

Unfortunately, many of us confuse the gift with the giver of the gift. When the falling in love part of a relationship is over–or, for that matter, when the relationship itself is over-we return the gift to the giver. We feel that somehow these new selves are not truly ours, and we go back to our old patterns of living. Sadder still are those amongst us who retrench further and allow even greater power to our previously dominant selves, because they have “proven” to us again that we need to go through life according to their rules, so that we will remain safe and avoid disappointment.

If, instead, we treasure the gifts that have been given in a relationship, if we treasure the new selves that have emerged during this magical period, then the relationship has added something new to our lives. In this way, each relationship leaves behind an expanded consciousness and the gift of new or enhanced selves .

Issue 94 –

Falling In Love: Part 2

Changes in Our Selves

by

Hal & Sidra Stone

 

When we fall in love, the pusher that usually sets our pace is overridden. Suddenly, everything that was ever so important can wait a bit while we spend hours on the telephone or squeeze out a few more minutes for a romantic dinner or find just the right gift for the beloved. We may discover, much to our surprise, that we have a Dreamer who likes to spend hours thinking lovely thoughts, or a Romantic who reads poetry, takes long walks, watches the sunsets, and engages in many other similarly non-productive activities. We may even discover a self-indulgent self that loves to spend great amounts of time and much money on non-essential items.

 

Before she met Bob, Susan’s pusher was the general manager in her life, and Susan was careful to use all of her time productively. Then she fell in love. She now decides to take time from her busy schedule to go to the hairdresser, to shop, to have her nails manicured . She spends money on perfume and somehow finds the time to indulge in long hot baths. She discovers that she most assuredly has a luxury loving self that had been totally disowned, pushed out of the picture by her ever eager pusher. Before she fell in love, Susan was totally unaware that any part of her might enjoy these activities.

 

When we are deeply in love, the critic, who up until now has evaluated our appearance and our productivity in life with a fairly jaundiced eye, suddenly seems to disappear. Instead, we look into our lover’s eyes and see ourselves mirrored back in all our beauty. For this magical period, we are lovely just as we are, and whatever it is that we do is just fine. Even our usually unattractive idiosyncrasies become charming when mirrored in the eyes of someone who loves us unconditionally. As the critic loses its power, we are free to create, enjoy, explore, and feel. As we no longer feel the power of this critical presence in our lives, we can become more creative and more loving, to say nothing of less stressed!

 

Someone once said that the most beautiful songs that are ever sung are those sung to infants by their mothers, songs that will never be heard by anyone else. And this may well be true. Because when we have fallen in love with a child who in turn loves us unconditionally, we want to communicate with it from our very hearts, and there is no critic commenting upon the quality of this communication.

 

A woman in her late twenties, Mary has been doing a good but apparently uninspired job at her work. She falls in love and suddenly her work flourishes. She becomes relaxed, creative, humorous, and almost brilliant. Her critic has taken a back seat and no longer paralyzes her with self-conscious indecision. Mary has gained access to her natural courage and spontaneity and is able to use them freely without undue interference.

 

Somehow, when we are in love, the perfectionist becomes less important because now the world does not need improving. It is beautiful just the way it is. We look at it through the proverbial rose-colored glasses. We change our focus completely and even see the flowers growing on garbage heaps. We, too, are spared the perfectionist’s scrutiny, and we can go about our lives in a more relaxed fashion.

 

For example, everything had to be done just right for Esther. She could not leave anything half done or undone. She could not go to bed at night until all the dishes were done, the latest bills were paid and the checkbook balanced . Of course, her house was always spotless and her office well organized. She never left anything on her desk at night. Nothing was less than perfect.

 

Then Esther fell in love. Everything in her life began to look pretty good to her. Now, not only does everything seem pretty fine just the way that it is, but her priorities have begun to change, and her perfectionist seems to have disappeared completely. Her new boyfriend, Andrew, is more relaxed about everything and she, too, has become more relaxed. Her own inner “Andrew” has emerged. Esther now works well but not compulsively. She is able to view her life in a more balanced fashion, approaching tasks in a relaxed manner. For the first time, she has some choice about how, and when, she wants to do things.

 

Surprisingly enough, when we are in love, we no longer need the pleaser because everything we do seems to please our beloved and we are free to be totally ourselves. Now we are able to trust ourselves and our own tastes and desires, since they are accepted so unconditionally by the person who is most important to our vulnerable child. We might even develop a selfish self. This is particularly likely if we have had a tendency to spend a good deal of time in the good parent or the pleaser. Since we want to spend much of our time with the loved one, we will, of necessity, do less for other people in our lives and will have to say no.

 

As a devoted and dutiful daughter, Angela has learned to ignore her own needs. Then she falls in love. She is no longer able to put her mother’s interests ahead of her own because this new relationship is too important to her. Therefore, she must separate from the dutiful daughter part of her and claim time for herself, thus incorporating her selfish part.

 

When we fall in love, the rational self, which has been evaluating life and setting up expectations that are sensible and realistic (in its view), begins to look too narrow in its approach . Up until now, it has decided which feelings are appropriate in any given situation, rejecting those that seem immature, volatile, or, worse yet, overly optimistic. As we experience the rush of excitement that often accompanies falling in love, we may find that the sober view of the rational self recedes into the background, and in its place we find a cock-eyed optimist.

 

Laura had learned not to expect too much from life. Her childhood had been difficult and her mother had disappointed her with great regularity. Even when she first met Larry, she was afraid to let herself go completely. But, somehow, his love and persistence worked their way through her reserve and touched her deeply. She fell in love. To her great surprise, she found that she no longer analyzed every aspect of their relationship. Instead of her usual cautious and rational approach, she was excited and optimistic. As her optimist emerged, Laura realized that she had a wonderfully spontaneous sense of humor that had never before appeared in her life.

 

The emergence of these disowned selves brings with it a double gift of psychological energy. First, as we have seen, each new self brings a new kind of energy into our lives. The brain research reported by Michael Gazzaniga suggests that there are actually different brain modules for different subpersonalities or selves. Thus, we are likely to be activating unuse d portions of our brains with each disowned self that comes to the surface. Secondly, an enormous amount of psychic energy is used to keep disowned selves disowned or repressed. The process of disowning or repressing is an active one that robs us of vitality that can be experienced in other areas of our lives.

 

Thus, as Laura brings forth her optimist, she not only adds to her life all the humor, hopes, and enthusiastic perceptions of the optimist, but all the energy that was required to keep these perceptions from awareness. Each time in the past that Laura’s optimist might have said, “That’s great!”, her rational self would have had to use an equal and opposite energy to push it down and replace that thought with, “Don’t get too excited, you’ll just be disappointed. Things never work out.”

Issue 93 –

Falling In Love: Part 1

by

Drs Hal & Sidra Stone

The beginning of a relationship is indeed a magical time of wonderful feelings, great excitement, and apparently limitless possibilities. This can be true of any relationship that touches our souls. It can be true of a romantic relationship, a friendship, a relationship with a teacher, therapist, or guru. It can even be true within families.
What happens when someone falls in love? As we have said before, people are made up of many parts or selves. But each of us has a specific group of primary selves – an elite ruling group. It is this group of selves that constitutes our personality as we and those around us know it.

 

This group of subpersonalities, or selves, is led by the protector/controller, a self that has spent a lifetime figuring out how to get along in the world. This protector/controller has evolved a code of behavior that is appropriate to the family, the culture, and the subculture in which we have grown up. It has gathered about itself a group of selves that support it in its efforts to lead a safe life, a life that enables us to fit smoothly into our surroundings and that is approved of by other people who are important to us.
This group of primary selves helps us to fit into the world around us so that our sensitive, secret vulnerable child will, hopefully, never get hurt. Therefore, this group is usually fairly conservative. It is headed by a very careful protector/ controller, which keeps its eye on family, friends, and work associates to check out which behaviors will be rewarded and which should be avoided. It gathers about itself other selves like the perfectionist (who knows how things should be done), the critic (who shows us where we fall short of the perfectionist’s ideals), the pusher (who helps us to move along faster , always faster), the good mother or father (who makes sure that we take care of everybody else), and the pleaser (who does as others wish). These selves usually make up the elite group that dominates our lives. We identify with these selves; it is this group of selves which constitutes our personality as we view ourselves and as our friends see us.
As we have said before, for each primary self there is a complementary, or opposite, self that is disowned or kept out of consciousness. For instance, if our protector I controller is conservative and cautious, we might disown our gambler or our liberal. If we identify with our good mother or good father, we will disown our own selfish child. If we identify with our sensible, well-adjusted self, we will disown our emotional self. Our vulnerable child, the part of us that carries our vulnerability and sensitivity, is not only disowned but is usually hidden away someplace safe-like in a concrete bunker buried 60 feet beneath the cement basement floor.
When we fall in love, everything goes – topsy turvy! Most of the protector/controller’s carefully worked out rules get suspended. Somehow, our vulnerable child escapes from its “safe” hiding place and comes out to take a peek at the world that, for this wonderful period of time, seems safe enough and most definitely welcoming whenever the beloved is near. The usual crowd of primary selves loses its power and the door is left open for new selves to emerge. We go through our lives for a magical time, without our usual caution. We are able to see and hear things that we had never known before. It is as though we have entered into a new world.

 

The New World

 

When we fall in love with someone, a lover, a teacher, a therapist, our newborn son or daughter, suddenly the world is full of new possibilities. We notice a beautiful vista to the side of the road because our consciousness is changed. The castle may have been there all the time, but we never saw it before. We have a new lover and suddenly we notice the flower shops in our neighborhood. Our therapist tells us about the importance of dreams, and we notice that we dream every night. We have a baby and the entire world looks fresh and new. A beautiful song in the fifties put it quite well: “There were birds in the air but I never heard them singing, never heard them at all till there was you.”

 

The world is actually new to us because we are literally perceiving it through new eyes. Until now, we have lived a life governed by a small group of primary selves; we have perceived it through their particular sensory apparatus, understood it to their way of understanding, and evaluated it according to their particular values. We have identified with them and their values, and their frame of reference has been ours. Now, as we fall in love, this balance of power is disrupted. These dominant or primary selves that have governed our lives lose power because there is little threat to our well-being. For the moment, we are not in danger of being hurt and our vulnerable child is happy and safe with the beloved. As these primary selves lose power, the complementary disowned selves emerge naturally. Let us see how this might happen.

Issue 92 –

Dream Title:
Source Intelligence and Core Vulnerability (c)
Part 2 of 2

by

Dr Hal Stone

 

At the start of this dream there are three men who are involved. The first man is Hal and he is the dreamer. ( Whenever I come up in a dream I write about myself in the third person. In this way I am moved more easily into an Aware Ego Process ).

 

The second man is Coke Harrell. Coke is a top level Physician and Internist in Southern California and he is a very dear friend of both Sidra and myself. Though we don’t see him too often, we have always felt a deeply intimate connection with him. He is a totally lovely man. Coke is a life partner of Carolyn Conger who is herself a top level consciousness teacher and writer with whom we have shared a great deal of living through these many years. She comes up in this dream a bit later and plays a very significant role. Coke and Carolyn are very central figures in our lives.

 

The last of the three men is a young 22 year old man who is unknown to Hal in the dream. My association to him is very clear however. I was 22 years of age when I began my Jungian Analysis in 1949. Most certainly he would be a part of me who feels and acts as though he is starting out on a new and different path with a good deal of energy and gusto. He is clearly a can do kind of person but energetically he also fits well with Coke and Hal. Hal is very pleased to be with these two men.

 

So each of the three men in this dream are highly successful in what they are doing and/or what they have done. In the dream, in addition to their general level of capability, each of them is a top level fighter pilot – really at the top of their game in this profession. So each of the three men is being set up in the dream as being highly successful in the world. In addition to their success in their chosen field of work, Coke and Hal have spent a good deal of time attending to the issues of consciousness and also attending to issues of relationship and partnering. The young man is starting out both in his professional life as yet unknown and also is starting his life as a consciousness student as well as being a highly trained fighter pilot.

 

So now in the dream the three men are together and Carolyn Conger appears and she is their teacher/ mentor and guide. She clearly is coming from a higher dimension of consciousness and she is coming to assist the three men in bringing through a fundamental level of transformation that is common to the three of them.

 

She begins by showing the three of them pictures or videos of their lives as they have been living them. I have a very specific association to this part of the dream. When you read the literature on Near Death Experiences and also the hypnotic regression studies of Michael Newton and students and colleagues, one finds certain specific kinds of experiences that people go through in the early stages of the death process.

 

This action is called a life review. What happens is that individuals are shown all kinds of visual material in the form of photos and video films that start very early in life until the time they pass over. They see and they feel how they have behaved and, more importantly, they see and they feel what the other people have felt when we have hurt them in some way. It is a process that takes place in a very short period of time but it is very impactful to experience this process and feel the feelings of the people we have harmed in some way. Needless to say, it is the Spirit body of the person who is experiencing this life review.

 

In my dream, Coke, the young man and Hal are being shown this wide range of pictures that are based on their lives. It is very similar in the dream to what I have described in the after death life review. This goes on for what feels like a lengthy period of time.

 

At a certain point the dream begins to shift. The three men are no longer simply seeing all of these pictures of their lives. They are in their spirit bodies and they begin to enter into a transformational experience in which they are being initiated into a very deep level of vulnerability. At this point too in the dream, once they have each been initiated into this new state of Vulnerability, the three men coalesce and become just Hal. At this time there is no “I” who is observing and all becomes one. Hal is then resting in space in a very sublime energetic state.

 

In the dream I/Hal feel immensely grateful to Carolyn for what she has ignited in us and we are very much enjoying this condition of resting into this lovely energy. Then, instead of coming to an end, Carolyn begins yet a new process with Sidra and Hal showing them the pictures that belong to each of them and moving them in the same direction as before with the three men. They too, yet again are starting to feel this new stage or level of completion of feeling their vulnerability in a new way. In the experience it is a matter of learning how to feel it at this very deep level and knowing how to use it in the world in a new and ongoing way. I’m not sure if this process is completed or not with Hal and Sidra. It doesn’t really matter but it feels quite wonderful.

 

I begin to feel the energetic reality of this kind of vulnerability and then I, as the viewer and experiencer of this process, am resting between the opposites of the reality of the World on my left side and the reality of God energy on my right side and I feel very close to both sides. Here is how I would describe it.

 

I am resting in Space in my spirit body and on my right side is what looks and feels like the Tower of God energy that extends below for some distance because I am in space at this point just resting in my spirit body. Then I realize that the tower of God Energy extends far above to a place I can’t even imagine. It is not a tower that has straight lines. The base is wider and it curves as it goes up and the lines of the Tower are not straight. At times they are rhomboid. I know that I have entered this space in some small way but I know in the future I will spend much time there for there is so much to experience and learn. At this point I am not touching the tower but am totally separate from it.

 

Then on the left side is the world itself. It extends out horizontally and it seems to extend out forever. There is so much to see and learn and experience on this other side. I know that I have spent time there too, just as with the other side, but at this time I am resting between them in a way that is totally separate from each of them.

 

Then as I rest between these two profound systems I feel this wonderful feeling and I realize that this is what it means to live a source based process when we are living in our body rather than a purely Spiritually based process. Feeling the vulnerability then feels like the basis of the Source energy I am feeling at that point. In a Source based process the two sides are always present.

 

Then suddenly in my resting state I understand the final teaching of this dream. It seems that this is what the real difference is between a Source based process and a Spiritually based process. The Source based process separates us constantly from becoming identified with the World Energy and from being identified with Spiritual energy. In either case, if you marry (identify with) the world, or parts of it, you lose your vulnerability. Whenever we identify with a self on either side we get strength and/or power and vulnerability is pushed away. If you marry Spirit, or part of it, you lose your vulnerability. The trick is to be related to all of it without becoming any of it.

 

This vulnerability is not just what we feel but how we live our life increasingly as we stand between God energy in all of its forms and Life energy in all of its forms. It is the vulnerability that is the key to all human relationship. I really knew this before but I also didn’t know it in this context. The Aware Ego process as it moves us towards Source energy also moves us to an ever deepening experience of core vulnerability. The Aging process certainly makes it happen more deeply and more quickly. Maybe this is why the “Inventors of Aging” felt that they had to put aging and death into the human equation. It’s only a fantasy but it sure gets the job done.

 

Two years ago after over forty years of personal work on issues of power and vulnerability and surrender I had the following dream and this dream at the age of 84 or 85. In the dream Hal is walking around somewhere in the heavens in another dimension of consciousness. There are many people around as though something big was going on. Hal meets a man who looks like he knows what he is doing. He is like a competent foreman on a job. Hal asks him what is going on.

 

He tells Hal to go with him and they suddenly drop to another level or dimension of consciousness that is closer to earth. In front of us are a range of mountains in Southeast Asia with Everest on the right at just below 30,000 feet and then there are mountains on the left dropping off to a very large group of mountains at 18,000 to 20,000 feet high. We then zoom in closer and he points out one of these 18,000-20,000 mountains and he has me focus on it very clearly. I see all kinds of people at the top of the mountain and they are working there and he then says to me. “This mountain is your primary self! It is way too high for someone at your age and your stage of life and we are taking it down – all the way.” Then I see all kinds of backhoes and stone breaking equipment and a multitude of people working to bring down the mountain and they are doing it! They are cracking open the hard rock. (End Dream)

 

Our primary selves want life and fight for life even when we don’t know it. Our primary selves force our vulnerability into submission whether we mean to or not. What happens typically is when we enter the aging process it is so often the case, as it was with me, that my primary self went back into gear because of the vulnerability I was feeling about aging and finances and fears about dying and many other things. So the primary self system kicked in again and re-engaged life in a way that is very common for many of us. My major body systems held tight until 2010-1011 and then all of the illnesses and body systems began to fail and I have gone through what I have gone through as a natural process to re-balance the system.

 

In my dream of initiation I am in my Spirit body and I begin to come back. I have never had the experience of consciously being out of my body though I have been told by others that both Sidra and I are away in spirit states at night with some frequency. As I awaken from this dream it does feel as though I am re-entering my body. It all seems quite reasonable as I begin waking up but I have no idea as to what my actual state was at that time. ( End Dream )

 

As I have read this material and edited it a number of times I really have nothing to add except to say this. There are energies within us and outside of us who really care about what happens to us. Don’t let your rational mind intervene and stop you from asking for help from powers that you may know nothing about and that you doubt are real. They are real! We have all been educated away from them – No Blame. It is just the way it is. It is really time to re-claim this remarkable heritage.

 

I do not think about these kinds of dreams very much. They are of a different order of experience and I have learned to hang out with them. I always share my dreams with Sidra. Dreams need to be shared. They don’t need to be understood but rather they love being received and honored. So enjoy your dream process and learn to hang out with them, to paint them, enter into energetic connection with them, to dance with them. If at idea comes about the dream then that is fine also but don’t let the rational mind take over and turn the dream process into a thinking tournament. Then let’s see what happens.

Issue 91 –

Source Intelligence and Core Vulnerability (c)
Part 1 of 2

by

Dr Hal Stone

 

Over the past few months I have begun to share with you some thoughts and feelings I have been mulling over that come from my personal diary, some teachings on our work that Sidra or I or we have jointly written, and also some very core dreams that have been coming to me every four to six weeks.

 

Between these core dreams there are periods of time when I don’t remember dreams at all and other times I have working dreams that seem to be dreams that are in a process of organizing themselves and myself but they are vague and also usually difficult to get hold of.

 

The pattern I experience in relationship to my dream process is one of organization over a period of time culminating in a very clear dream or a few dreams in a cycle. This brings a new clarity and sometimes a kind of state of grace that can remain for a few days or a week or even longer at times. A few times it has lasted over a much longer period of time.

 

What happens then, and often quite suddenly, is that a period of de-integration comes in and things feel quite confusing. It doesn’t feel like a dis-integration where things are more in free fall and everything feels like it is breaking up. It is simply that what has become more ordered and organized is suddenly not ordered and organized. I am used to this pattern now and over the years I have developed a much stronger base to stand on. When things become more chaotic I am able generally to dance with the resultant sense of chaos as though it were an old friend. In the earlier years I usually didn’t feel too well during these periods of time and I wanted them out of the way. At these times I expect them and welcome them and, in addition, I have observed the same process in almost everyone I have ever worked with over a longer period of time.

 

The last core dream I had came a little more than a month ago when I met the figure of death standing behind Sidra’s body and forcing her body down much too far and appeared to me to be endangering her in a serious way. This dream was submitted as a part of the Facebook series in which we have been publishing material over the past few months. In this dream I reacted strongly to the death figure even though he could easily kill me.

 

It seems that my strength and also my connection to him changed something and he shifted from this ominous figure of death and power to a young man who walked over to me and entered my body and he became a self or sub-personality that had to do with death and dying. It felt like something substantial had happened in this dream.

 

It did mark a time of great change. Since then the issue of death and dying has changed quite dramatically for Sidra and myself. It truly seems to have become a non-issue for us both. I will die when I will die and get sick when I get sick but there is a new kind of acceptance that is now present. We both feel free of a very heavy burden that Sidra herself was forced to carry in one way and I in another way. It is all much more natural.

 

These dreams over the past few years feel to me as though they are accompanying the process I am in, as though they represent pictures of the process I am in and also as though they in themselves are bringing through very deep changes in a very direct way. They are freeing me from whatever it is that seems to be not free. They are enlightening me and enlivening me in ways I couldn’t possibly have imagined. I share them with you because I believe that the process I am in is not just mine alone but a kind of prototypical process that is available to a much larger group of people who find a way to work with oppositional energies and develop what we refer to as the Aware Ego Process. It is this process that allows them to embrace this majesty of opposites that are in each of us. As we learn to embrace these opposites, the Aware Ego Process can become stronger and stronger in each of us.

 

It is this Aware Ego process that moves us inexorably towards the reality of Source Intelligence or Source Energy. These terms are inter-changeable. It is Source Energy that is there in the beginning – the original Intelligence of the Universe. It is this Intelligence that creates the structured forms of the universe; that creates earth itself; that creates the reality of the God energy systems (not religion or the structured forms that harden with time and lose the original God energy}; and that also creates the energies of the world itself and provides us with the instincts, the archetypal energies and the developing mind and emotional apparatus that allows us to survive, and prosper and evolve on the planet earth.

 

Source energy has no dogma. It has no gender. Source energy does not provide us with the capacity for ecstatic experience. These kinds of experiences come from the God energy system that Source has created. Source energy carries the map that each of us carries in our own unique way. Discovering the reality of this map has a good deal to do with the meaning and purpose we have as we live our life on earth.

 

It doesn’t matter whether we are married to our good looks or our worship of God or our hate or judgment to our enemy or our hyper love to our child. Source requires us to unhook from these marriages/ attachments/ unconscious linkages or any other names that you can think of. It requires us to psychologically divorce your Partner whether you are married to that person or not. The psychological divorce requires us to separate from the primary selves that are living out our relationship for us. Then there is a very different kind of Partnering that is possible.

 

Source energy carries the map of our individual fates – what the Greeks called our Moira. In the past almost anything we experienced of a higher order we have thought of as being Spiritual in nature. Over a period of time I have come to experience things quite differently. I have gone through old dreams of my own and client dreams recent and old and going back many years and it becomes increasingly clear to me that there are dreams that clearly are spiritually based. There are many other dreams, however, that are Source based. Spiritual energy takes us on a different path than Source energy. It is not good or bad or a black or white. They are just different and over time I hope to bring to you a clearer picture of how they are different. Earlier articles have deal with these questions already.

 

The dream I am sharing with you in this article is a Source based dream. It is unusual because it has in it much of my own thinking that has evolved over the past four to five years. It is one of most significant dreams I have had since I have been working with the issue of Source Energy and Spirituality. So much of my thinking about this issue has been incorporated into the actual content of the dream itself.

 

Until this time, the clearest dream that I have ever experienced regarding Source energy is one that I had about four years ago just before all of the illnesses started their very impressive journey of waking me up from wherever it is I had been sleeping.

 

In the core dream of that time Hal was in a room and Source energy picked Hal up and dropped him into the vessel of God energy. I must add here that being dropped into the vessel of God energy has been a repetitive dream in my life for many many years. I just took it for granted and never really thought about it too much. It has been indeed a lovely gift and God energy has been very familiar to me because of these experiences. Source energy never came up in these repetitive dreams.

In past dreams Hal always came out of the experience at just the right time. The dream was simply that he was in the vessel of God energy and experienced its strong energetic vibration and he then came out in a very natural way.

 

In this dream in 2011 however it is Source energy that drops Hal into the vessel of God energy. It is a bigger vessel and Hal/I are dropping down faster and the ecstatic component was more intense and lasting longer and I knew that Hal/I were going to break apart and die. My physical frame couldn’t handle it. Then Source energy, just before my death, stopped the process and took me out of the vessel. I was in a room and Sidra was waiting for me. In the room also were just a few of our students – maybe five or six or seven. My job was to begin to teach these students about Source Energy and how to work with Source energy and Spiritual energies with their clientele. (End Dream)

 

The dream from 2011 gave me such a clear picture of Source energy at that time. Everything felt so clear to me. Interestingly enough it was after this dream that all my illnesses began and I have been, in fact, in this vessel of God for a goodly period of time as I skirted the edge of death these past years since the dream. I feel as though at this time I have been taken out of the vessel and have been ready since fall of last year to more seriously engage this teaching. I could not have imagined the energies that are slowly becoming available to me if it were not for Sidra’s continued support of my work and process. These ideas are new and difficult and she has her own world view that has not been the same as mine. Nevertheless, she has maintained her support and her trust that I was handling things with some sense of accountability to her and responsibility in starting to open things up a bit more.

 

It is interesting also that a year to two years before the dream I have just shared, I had another dream that Christ had come from another dimension to speak with Sidra alone. He told her that she needed to help Hal with this process he was in and to help him in starting to teach the work regarding Source Energy. It is really interesting to think about the implications of this dream. Here is Christ, one of the Spiritual sons of the Spiritual Hierarchy, asking her to support Hal’s work concerning the ideas of Source Energy. It would appear that the Spiritual Hierarchy recognizes at some deep level that the actual religions of the world need something different that they can relate to – possibly even surrender to.

 

In September of the year 2013 the Dalai Lama wrote this paragraph onto his Facebook:

 

Dalai Lama

“All the world’s major religions, with their emphasis on love, compassion, patience, tolerance, and forgiveness can and do promote inner values. But the reality of the world today is that grounding ethics in religion is no longer adequate. This is why I am increasingly convinced that the time has come to find a way of thinking about spirituality and ethics beyond religion altogether.”

 

 

Here is an example of a leader of a major religion with a long history of thousands of years of ritual and law preceding him, who can separate at some level from all his learning and knowledge and recognize that the reality of the Spiritual Hierarchy is no longer working and cannot be framed any longer in the religious framework that has always held it. I believe that Source energy carries this framework. Not only that, the beauty and experiences of actual spiritual reality can be supported and maintained under the umbrella of Source energy which requires us to embrace always the world of Spirit and the reality of the actual physical world that we live in.

 

I share these dreams to help you to prepare for aging. I share these dreams to help you to build a bridge between yourselves and the world of Spirit on the one side and the world of Life itself on the other side. I share these dreams and my process with you because I simply need to share this material with a larger collective. I need your feedback and your dreams and your experiences of source.

 

We need the wisdom that comes from this level of material. Spiritual wisdom is too often too rejecting of the world. It is too judging of the bad guys that are out there and also in all of us and so this makes it easier to stuff our own “badness” into the dungeons below. We need the wisdom that comes from Source because Source does not value God energy more than it values World energy – or more than it values a good cup of coffee.

 

I also need your reactions so that I can best make course corrections. Pay attention to your dreams and begin to think of them as to how they are sourced. Pay attention to synchronicities and how they happen and what they are connected to.

 

Voice Dialogue as a method is becoming increasingly popular. It is 43 years since Sidra and I began this work. The selves are now becoming household words. It is my honest belief that it will be much less than 43 years when Source energy will be the most central and integrated concept in all healing work. In 40 years I will be 127 years of age and you can call me a liar at that time if this development doesn’t take place in the way that I envision it. It is possible that I will not be in this body at that time so you can send a message to Source energy @P.O. Box 22(5A137) together with your letter of complaint and I will do the best I can do to answer it.

 

Today, as I mentioned before, the selves are a natural part of our vocabulary. My daughter Tamar Stone is showing these marketing ads on her website. These are video ads that are using the individual Selves to sell products. They are really very well done. From Voice Dialogue to the Aware Ego Process to Source Energy is part of a package. It is a road map that is becoming increasingly used in traveling the road that was once less traveled. There are many other roads and ways of looking at things. I support them all. In the end we are all moving to the same place and in the same direction. Consciousness is like that.

 

Recently I read an article in the New Yorker which was summing up the new hard research that was being done in the U.S. on the use of LSD and other Psychotropic drugs to treat cancer and addiction problems, depressive states and a wide range of other disturbed states of consciousness. This is serious research on a very large scale with many different investigators and funded by major agencies representing Cancer treatment, Addiction, treatment, Trauma Centers as well as the government itself. The psychiatrists sitting with the clients are going through quite a process with their own involvement. Having lived through all of this in what feels like another lifetime I would say that things are moving rather quickly right now. From watching the dream process unfold in many people around the world, my own sense is that Source Energy is constellating with ever increasing strength and power.